theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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