i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
