so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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