like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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