no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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