I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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