She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
