So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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