"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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