Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I want her autograph on my taint
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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