I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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