No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
