i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
3pm strippers are depressing
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
