I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
