I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize