I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize