I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
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