She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
3pm strippers are depressing
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
