we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My liver just had a heart attack.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize