She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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