so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
