is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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