I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
