Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
