Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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