Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
you had me at cake vodka
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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