I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
