Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just googled if crying burns calories
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Randomize
