why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
