Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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