I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
