i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
