the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I intend to get homeless drunk
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
