He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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