She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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