All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
