idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
