So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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