He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
