I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
