ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
