Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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