I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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