no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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