so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Quick, to the slutcave!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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