I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize