Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
