help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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