i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I need water and some morals
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
