Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
