I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
