I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
