Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
