The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize