addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
