singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
im holly from the hills drunk
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
