Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
