Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
