That's when you crack a 10am beer
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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